


After all this time

by Una_Ragazza_Qualunque



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Top Keith (Voltron), a little bit fluff, argument, guilt feelings, mentions of the first episode of the s7, only mentioned - Freeform, post s-6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 23:10:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15568422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Una_Ragazza_Qualunque/pseuds/Una_Ragazza_Qualunque
Summary: "Shiro remembered that sense of loneliness, he had already felt it before.He had already felt it, the champion. But while the champion fought to stay alive, to fight against them and against himself, against the limits that his body imposed on him, the paladin was already dead.[...]He knew it was only a matter of time, he was calm, he had metabolized the thing long ago once again in solitude and yet to see that expression on Keith's face had hurt him.As if the awareness that they could no longer be together had awakened only at that moment and once again the sense of guilt had hit Shiro's chest making him understand that, perhaps, he wasn't so ready to die as he believed. He wasn't ready to let him go.Perhaps a small part of Shiro wanted to live again.And once again the mixed feelings only created confusion in Shiro's head.He would have liked to live but not if this would have cost Keith's life.Kuron, Shiro was sure, thought at the same way.If indeed Kuron had been created in his image and likeness then he too felt his feelings towards his best friend.He too loved Keith."





	After all this time

The wind was blowing that night, cold and imposing causing annoying noises while banging on the door and windows of that house now abandoned.

Shiro had forgotten how cold it could be in the desert of the Earth at night.

He couldn't believe he had returned to Earth again, after all that had happened to him. After spending two years in the astral plane, without a real body, alone.

Shiro remembered that sense of loneliness, he had already felt it before.

He had already felt it, the champion. But while the champion fought to stay alive, to fight against them and against himself, against the limits that his body imposed on him, the paladin was already dead.

Impotent, he had spent two years watching his comrades be deceived by someone, or something that passed off for him.

Watching as he allowed him to move away from the other paladins, to move away from him.

Shiro knew that wasn't clone's fault (Kuron as they had chosen to call him), he wasn't the real enemy.

Through his memoirs he remembered the emotions he had felt over the past two years, and perhaps this was what disturbed Shiro so much. Not only did he have his memories, his emotions but he also had his own. A mixture of emotions that only caused him pain.

Loneliness and frustration in standing still and looking against the joy of being a paladin, having friends, counting something.

Perhaps, Shiro thought, this was the real reason why he had tried in every way to contact someone, to ask Lance for help.

Perhaps he believed that in this way these emotions would disappear, along with him. But he had failed, as much as a friendship and mutual respect bound him and Lance, it wasn't enough.

And then it happened. What he feared most.

He had harmed his comrades, the people who trusted him, his friends. He had hurt him, Keith.

As much as Keith kept telling him that it wasn't him who had done those things, Shiro couldn't help but feel guilty.

When he seemed to convince himself, the memories he had lived with Kuron's eyes returned to the surface, as well as the sensations he had felt while he struck his friends and anger, so much anger.

When he had managed to communicate with Keith he had not felt it.

He knew it was only a matter of time, he was calm, he had metabolized the thing long ago once again in solitude and yet to see that expression on Keith's face had hurt him.

As if the awareness that they could no longer be together had awakened only at that moment and once again the sense of guilt had hit Shiro's chest making him understand that, perhaps, he wasn't so ready to die as he believed. He wasn't ready to let him go.

Perhaps a small part of Shiro wanted to live again.

And once again the mixed feelings only created confusion in Shiro's head.

He would have liked to live but not if this would have cost Keith's life.

Kuron, Shiro was sure, thought at the same way.

If indeed Kuron had been created in his image and likeness then he too felt his feelings towards his best friend.

He too loved Keith.

It had not been a coincidence that he had brought him there. As a last cry for help or simply as a sign of surrender. You live, I die.

And here they are still there, those feelings.

Not only had he hurt the man he loved, he had also killed an innocent man.

He had become the monster he had long feared to be.

<< Shiro? >> A familiar voice made him return to reality and, while before he had been staring at the empty space beyond the window sitting on the bed, he turned in the direction where the voice came from.

<< Are you okay? >> Keith asked with a worried expression on his face as he approached, sweet, an expression that Shiro could boast, could only be directed to him.

<< Yes, I'm sorry I was just thoughtful. >> Shiro excused himself without looking him in the eye. As if he feared that the other would be able to look inside if their eyes had crossed.

Shiro tried to lie down as best he could. It was ironic how much he missed his prosthesis at that moment, the same that had started all this.

Keith noticed Shiro's difficulties and came up to try to help him.

Shiro didn't object but, once again, couldn't look him in the eye as he placed the pillow behind his back to support him.

Keith said nothing and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him, looking for his gaze.

<< Shiro, look at me. >> He asked to him. << Please. >> He added softening the tone of his voice as much as possible, looking almost like a plea.

Shiro didn't succeed disobey to him.

<< Talk to me. I know there's something you don't tell me. >> Keith said trying to fight the desire to reach out to take his hand. It wasn't the moment. He wanted to leave his space, without suffocating him.

Shiro's gaze rested on Keith's scar, there on his face to remind him of his mistakes.

Shiro had always loved Keith's face. Harmonic, with a determined look.

If only it had been stronger, better, all this wouldn't have happened.

Keith touched it instinctively, noting that Shiro had laid his eyes on it.

<< It's not your fault, you know that. >>

Shiro sighed, still that speech.

<< How can you say this? >> Shiro asked resuming looking out the window.

Keith put a hand on Shiro's face, stroking his cheek and turning it to look at him again. << That wasn't you. >>

<< That is the same person you have here in front of you right now. >> Exclaimed Shiro slightly raising his voice without noticing it.

<< No! This is not true! >> countered Keith. << You were not there! >>

<< Even if, he and I are the same person, Keith. We are now. >> Said Shiro leaning his back against the pillow to move away from the other. << I know it's hard to understand. I don't understand it either. >>

Keith looked down.

He wanted to hug him, hold him tight. He only wanted his words to reach him, to make him understand what he felt.

Keith knew it wasn't Shiro's fault, he could never blame him. He knew that if he could choose he would never allow anyone to get hurt.

Why was this not enough?

<< You're unfair. >> Keith let slip in a whisper.

<< What? >> Asked Shiro confused by that revelation.

<< You know that it wasn't easy even for me! >> Keith screamed as he felt the tears pinch his eyes. No. He didn't want to cry in front of him. Not now. << You know that even I would have never wanted to hurt you! You know that I- >> He continued as he clenched his fists to try to control himself but now, he could hear them, the tears wet his face.

<< Keith ... >>

<< I love you! >> Keith interrupted him by taking him for the white tank top. Those words had to reach him even though, Keith was sure, his determined expression was ruined by tears. << I love you, I have always loved you. I- >> He tried to add but tired, as if that confession had drained all the energy in his body, rested his head on Shiro's shoulder loosening his grip but leaving his hands on his chest.

<< I know, I know Keith. >> Shiro replied, caressing his hair with the only hand he owned. << Sorry. >>

<< No, I don't want you to apologize. >> Keith said shaking his head but without changing position.

<< What do you want me to do? >> Asked Shiro as he watched Keith lift his face to support his gaze. Their faces were so close.

<< Let me stay by your side. >>

<< Okay. >> Shiro replied, moving his hand over his face, passing his thumb on the scar.

Keith closed his eyes and let himself be lulled by that sweet gesture, Keith hoped, guided even a little by love.

<< You need to rest. >>

<< Stay here with me? >> Shiro asked.

Keith smiled sweetly at him. << Didn't I say I wanted to stay by your side? >>

Keith didn't add anything else and got up to make Shiro lay out, positioning himself next to him when he finished.

Both lying on one side, looking into each other's eyes.

Keith realized that Shiro had begun to tremble.

<< Are you cold? Maybe you still have a little fever. >>

<< I'm fine. >> Shiro replied, but his voice betrayed him coming out broken due to the constant tremor.

<< You don't have to pretend with me. >>

Keith approached him, making him rest his face on the base of his neck and began to stroke his hair's attachment.

Shiro let out a sigh of relief and Keith smiled while with his other hand stroked his taut shoulders.

Keith couldn't see Shiro's face from that position but he could feel the other relax on him and all the tension of a moment ago also left Keith.

<< I like your hair. >>

<< Keith. >> Shiro complained.

<< What? It's true. >> Keith retorted between laughter and could hear the smile on Shiro's lips against the skin of his neck. He shuddered. << I missed you. >>

<< I missed you too,Keith. >>

<< Do you remember that place I told you about? The one where I spent these last two years with my mo- Krolia? >>

<< Yes. >>

<< You know, in most of my visions you were there too. >>

<< After all this time? After all the evil I did to you?? >> Shiro asked with a bitter tone.

Keith didn't move. He knew Shiro and he knew that this statement would re-emerge his insecurities.

<< Yes. You will always be a constant present in my life Shiro. >>

Keith felt Shiro wince and instinctively pulled him closer, and when he felt something wet his skin, he lowered a hand on Shiro's face to wipe the tears gently.

Silence accompanied Keith's caresses until Shiro stopped crying.

Continuing to stroke his hair, as if the calm of that moment depended on it, Keith lowered his head to plunge on them sniffing them.

<< You have a good smell. >>

Shiro put his hand on Keith's arm, stroking it gently to return the gesture of tenderness. << Keith. >> Shiro moaned.

Keith put his lips on Shiro's head, kissing his hair and then slowly and gently kissing his forehead, nose, cheek until he reached the corner of his mouth, always keeping his eyes open, attentive to Shiro's reactions.

Shiro breathed in noisily, as if he were holding back as he closed his eyes.

Keith ran his hand through his hair, down to his cheek, while his other hand mimicked it on the other side. He stared at his face, perfect and handsome as he slowly approached.

His lips touched the other's, innocent and unhurried, Keith waited.

Shiro didn't react but didn't even move away, encouraging Keith to approach again.

<< It's all right. >> Keith whispered as he watched Shiro open his eyes just enough to look into his.

As soon as their eyes met, Keith managed to feel a surge of excitement in the lower abdomen growing even feeling that of Shiro. He couldn't tell if due to the proximity due to a bed too small for two people, or other.

When Keith's lips rested on those of Shiro again, this time the other reacted bring his hand on the side of Keith, squeezing and preventing him to move away by returning the kiss.

The sudden gesture made clashed their pelvis causing Keith moan of pleasure.

Shiro immediately returned to kiss him, slowly trying to make impressed in his mind every single detail of that moment, every single detail of Keith, his mouth or his body that was heating up under the touch of his hand. He wanted to remember the emotions and feelings he was feeling at this moment, these were the memories he wanted.

No responsibility, no universe to save, there was only Keith.

Keith instead had dreamed this moment for years and, fearing to be able to ruin it, he looked into his eyes in search of a consensus that was not long in coming.

Shiro never took his eyes from Keith as he positioned himself on top of him, making their pelvis adhere again, leaning over him to start kissing him again.

Keith's hands wandered over Shiro's body, stroking his firm pectorals and sculpted abs, complaining about the obstacle of his clothes while the other stretched out his hand, tightly clutching Keith's hair. He was nice with the long hair.

Keith broke the kiss to pull off the shirt that he dropped at the foot of the bed. When he looked back at Shiro he realized that he too had straightened up trying hard to imitate him. Keith couldn't help but smile. << Don't. >> He said touching his hand to get his attention. << I'll do it. >> He offered to help him by throwing the tank top on the floor next to his shirt.

Keith kissed his cheek again and then moved close to his ear, on his neck, sucking and nibbling contentedly when he heard Shiro calling his name gasping.

Keith had Shiro stretched out again by pushing him gently with one hand while with the other he lowered the zip of his pants.

Shiro ran his hand over Keith's bare back, feeling the excitement grow more and more, almost scratching it. Touching without the obstacle of clothes was completely different. It was like taking the shock but at the same time magnetic, not wanting to stop Shiro wondered how he would do from there forward. He wanted more.

As if Keith had caught his frustration, his hand made room under Shiro's underwear, caressing his member and giving him some relief.

<< Ah, Keith. >> Shiro let out a groan, biting his lower lip when he realized but the desire to let go, to let his hips accompany the movements of the other was strong.

<< You're beautiful. >> Keith said as he looked him beneath him with his face red, his chest rising and lowering quickly in tune with his breath.

The sight gave Keith a more audacious turn, lowering his hand he stroked the entrance without, however, violate it, causing another moan to Shiro.

Increasingly impatient Keith withdrew his hand, without missing the other's complaints, slip to permanently eliminate the rest of the clothes on his back. Getting up Keith did the same with his as he approached the desk at the back of the room.

<< Keith? >> Shiro called him wondering what he was doing.

When he returned to him, Shiro realized that he was holding a bottle of lubricant and blushed.

<< What? I've lived alone here for years. >> Keith explained smiling.

<< Keith! >>

<< Don't worry, you've always been the object of my fantasies. >> Keith said as he bent to kiss his forehead and prevented him from arguing.

When he rested on the bed, between Shiro's legs, he opened the bottle pouring a generous amount of lubricant into his fingers. He didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want their first time a bad memory.

Shiro couldn't help but smile, despite the situation, seeing that familiar look in Keith's face. Concentrated and, in some ways, determined.

When Keith decided it was enough, he rested his hand in Shiro's entrance, stroking it and inserting the first finger slowly.

Keith paid attention to every need of Shiro and, after making sure he was ready, he inserted another finger, stroking the walls and opening his fingers.

The room was starting to get too hot and Keith was beginning to fear that he couldn't control himself under the lewd sounds that Shiro was emitting.

<< Keith. >> Shiro asked him. He didn't have to repeat it twice.

Keith pulled his fingers out from inside Shiro, putting his hand on his member, letting out a sigh of relief at the contact.

He penetrated Shiro and for Keith it was like going crazy. The feeling of warmth around his member left him speechless and more he went deeper more the pleasure increased.

<< God, Shiro. Perfect. >> Keith groaned once completely inside, accompanied by that of Shiro to the feeling of being filled.

Keith didn't move, waiting for Shiro to get used to the sensation.

When Shiro called him Keith began with a slow and careful first push to then increase the pace as the passion increased, filling the room with the groans of both.

<< Shiro, Shiro- >> Repeated Keith like a mantra, as if to remember that it wasn't just another dream.

<< Keith. >> He shrieked as he reached out for Keith's, who immediately held it with his fingers intertwined, and as he squeezed his hand they reached the peak of pleasure together.

Breathless, Keith stepped out of Shiro carefully, lying next to him. He turned to him and smiled, putting his lips on his scar.

Shiro smiled as he shifted a lock of Keith's hair behind his ear.

<< I love you too, Keith. >>

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for coming here, I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Honestly this fan fiction wasn't supposed to be that angst at first, but I couldn't stop myself.  
> I really put the soul in this story and I know I have to pratice with erotic scenes and still with English but I hope it's a good start.  
> Let me know what you think!  
> See you next time!
> 
> Where to find me:  
>   
> [Tumblr](http://sensiblegirl-fe.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Ragazza_Qualunq)  
>  


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